Think about what happens when you touch a hot stove. The speed of the nerve impulse through your neural network can be as fast as 100 meters per second. It’s almost instantaneous – and there’s a reflex action even before your brain gets the time it needs to process the threat. There’s no thinking involved. This kind of process is hard wired, and essential for our survival.
Consider that this is only one example of hardwiring in our human experience. And there’s some programming that goes beyond the physical. We develop mental and emotional mechanisms as well.
For the most part their intention is similar – our survival, and our safety. And the thing is, they tend to be automatic. Our default is to stay safe and comfortable, right smack in the center of our comfort zones.
But possibility and the opportunity to create results beyond our “reasonable reality” lies outside that place – outside our comfort zone. We need to get a bit uncomfortable in order to achieve the grander goals we say we want.
There’s a reason the breakfast line is really long, but the stand-up-to-deliver-an-Education-Piece line… not so much. I know, bacon tastes good. But clearly there’s something else at play.
Don’t worry, I’ve got some good news. First of all, fear’s job is to stop you. It’s what it does best. We all experience it. And most of the time it’s irrational and at least in interpersonal connection, it’s simply based on perception. It’s not real.
So whether it’s walking across the bar to talk to that attractive potential mate, adding your input in a creative meeting with a big client, or standing up in front of a room of your peers, the feelings and the circumstances are often mismatched.
Secondly, it often just takes some practice to prove to yourself that it’s not actually as scary as you thought it’d be.
So that brings me to my challenge for you. Look, whether or not you want to stand up here and do one of these, totally up to you and cool either way. In case you couldn’t tell, I’m having a ball up here.
But look around. This is one of the safest, least judgmental environments you’re going to find. Everybody loves you here. Well, most of them do anyway. Sometimes I wonder about Matt. Just kidding.
So get up and stretch yourself. Get out of your comfort zone. Take a risk in your ask during your commercial. Or ask someone significant to attend as your guest.
Just like polished comedians take their material out to small clubs to do test runs, see how it goes here. And have the courage to ask for feedback. If it works here, it can work out there.
When I’m training new coaches, they’re often nervous in their first sessions. It’s confronting to get hired by your first clients. To handle their objections (which are totally normal by the way). Anyone up against real change – even if they say they want it – has some kind of resistance, or they’re either lying or not really committed to taking on the work.
And we say to those newbies, go out and get your nose bloody. It’s the way you develop yourself, to get better and more comfortable with the pursuit of your bigger stuff.
You think the greatest guitarists in the world have soft delicate fingertips? Or did they face the discomfort to develop callouses that allow them to strum their instrument and create remarkable music.
I’m standing here surrounded by musicians. And I say strum away my friends.
Get your nose bloody, have a blast, make some music, and as always, have a powerful day!