I have to say it’s been quite a ride the past few days. There was a bit of drama bubbling up in my family of origin. And as someone committed to both my own way of thinking and living but also to maintaining harmony in my family, honoring both of those can sometimes be tricky.
Show of hands… Anybody relate? Of course! Well, as I’ve heard it said… if you think you’re enlightened, spend some time with your family.
And it gets better because in addition to the mild discomfort of having to handle things in a certain way, there were also a few moments of powerlessness. Because of course, we can’t control others. We can only control ourselves and our responses.
Now you know I care about all of you, and I like that this might help you get to know me… But you know these moments aren’t about me. So there must be another reason why I’m sharing these things. It’s to make a point.
Vulnerability is access to connection.
Often we feel the need to hide our truth, our feelings, our struggles, our HUMANITY. But in fact, it’s our humanity that connects us.
We all have our stuff. And yet still want to be polished and professional, smooth and clever, and strong. We want to look good, and be appealing. And we can be those things too. But be mindful of photo-shopping the truth so far that it cleanses you of your most precious asset — your authentic self.
So while I’m certainly not advocating that we all tell everything to everyone, keep in mind that people don’t just buy what you have or do. They buy you!
So think of vulnerability like mustard… a spice that can add bold flavor, but if you’re not careful the whole thing could taste like it. Use sparingly but purposefully.
The next time you want to create connection, share some of your humanity and watch it clear the space for the other person to share theirs.
That’s the good stuff, the stuff relationships are made of. Business deals too!