I’ve got something super important for you today. So listen up… because if you get one thing out of this meeting… heck, if you get one thing out of this WEEK… let this be it!
First, something you already know but let’s bring it to the group’s consciousness… networking, at its core… when you distill it all down… is essentially about building relationship. The ability to get needs met in a mutual way. On both sides, all sides.
Well… I assert that the most important aspect of any relationship… ANY relationship, is trust.
Now again, right out of the gate, that’s not new. It’s not as if you’ve never heard those words strung together before. Of course we have to trust each other. But I’m talking THE MOST important… I’m talking about trust being more important than anything, more important even than love.
Love? The thing that makes the world go ‘round? That’s a bold claim.
C’mon, everything in this life is about love. Love saves the day. Love is the answer. All we need is love. Love, love, love, love, love. Yes, love is amazing. And it’s powerful, and it’s great. And all of us humans desire it in various forms. But I’m telling you. When it comes to functionality in any relationship, it ain’t more important than trust.
Let’s put it to a very logical test. You ready? Follow me here…
Show me a relationship that has trust but no love. And remember, love comes in many forms. Sure, you can love a family member or romantic partner. But you can love a co-worker, an employee, a customer or client, etc. When I say love, I mean a sense of deep care. A connection where their success, their performance, their happiness has a real impact on you. It matters. Ok, so love would be nice of course. It would make the relationship more special, more enjoyable, more fun perhaps… it would make it better, more motivating. But even in the absence of love, if you’ve got trust, the ship is still floating. That ship sails.
Now show me a relationship that has love but no trust. Think about that… a diminished sense or even absence of trust. Is that ship going to float? I don’t think so. Certainly not for long, not in any kind of sustainable sense. I think it’ll be uncomfortable, maybe even painful, and people will hold on and let go, and hold on and let go. But ultimately, no trust? Whether immediately or over time, that ship sinks.
And the problem is that people don’t always train each other to trust each other. And to be clear, I’m not talking about Elevate — generally we’re conscientious and we’re great about this. We’re a tight-knit, and highly engaged group.
But there are people in the world that are making moves that would have us go the other way. And it never hurts to have the reminder to be mindful of how we show up.
So how do you train someone to trust you? You do what you say. You don’t do what you said you wouldn’t do. You don’t change the rules of the game without giving a heads up to the other players… without recognizing the impact. And if it must be done, you take some ownership. You communicate with some transparency, even some vulnerability. And say, “Hey, I’m sorry but we need to go in a different direction. But I recognize the impact and I’ll do my best to make it right. To offset the consequences for you.”
Despite all of the different hats we wear, the layers of professional “clothing,” we put on, creating powerful relationships in life and business is about being a human with other humans. It’s about making space for someone else’s needs, and operating inside a parameter that you both agreed upon. Obviously the size of those structures will vary based on the nature of the relationship, the length of time it’s had to develop, the size of the client, the power dynamic, etc.
Now, I’m sure you can hear my passion about this. I could go on all day about trust. And frankly, you’ll probably here about it again. Because I truly believe that trust is at the heart of what we all need to create in order to get the progressive results we are all after. Train people to trust you and you will be amazed at how people respond. Their level of loyalty, and willingness — to show up, to buy, and to refer you to their people. It’s the straightest, most direct route to power and impact.
If we show up in integrity, and we do what we say, and deliver on what we said, and don’t over promise and under deliver… they’re not just going to trust us. They’re going to feel pretty damn good about us. Right? If we get them results even beyond what they had expected.
TIE. T-I-E. Trust is everything.
Powerful relationships are about creating powerful ties.