Updated February 19, 2025
NYC Elevate is a networking community organized to help our members make more money through structured collaboration and referrals.
Last month, we discussed that it was important to set goals for 2025.
Then we discussed that there are a lot of advanced networking tactics that could help you achieve those goals, and that you can learn how to do complex things like solving a Rubik’s Cube, which is step by step.
Then we talked about having the right mindset when learning how to do complex things, which is to do something many times and then by the tenth time you’ll start getting good at it.
Then we discussed that sometimes we need courage to put ourselves in the one position where there could be no excuses.
But there is another thing in play here: our psychology and how it potentially blocks us from being more successful.
On a 121 last week, a fellow member told me that they accomplished a lot last year, but still felt guilty that they didn’t achieve every goal they set in the beginning of the year.
And that negative feeling prevented them from accomplishing even more because they were depressed for coming up just short of their goals and they were wasting time ruminating about doing the work instead of just doing the work.
And this reminded me of how I am on the tennis court.
I could be dominating my opponent, but miss an easy shot and invariably the dialog with myself is totally negative:
“You’re stupid.”
“That was such a horrible shot.”
“What were you thinking?”
And remember, in this story I’m dominating my opponent, but I’m not giving myself any love for the thousands of hours of practice and million balls I’ve hit that put me in the position to be winning on this given day.
The net result, pun intended, is that what should be a totally positive experience, isn’t so much.
Could you imagine what a monster I’d be on the court if I limited the internal dialog to only loving myself and giving myself positive reinforcement?
..OK, don’t imagine that…
So remember, it’s good to be aggressive with your goals and it’s good to be conscientious about achieving them, but instead of beating yourself up for coming up a little short, how about giving yourself a little bit of love this Valentine’s Day and pat yourself on the back and giving for all the great things you are doing and achieving.
If you do that, I guarantee that you’ll not only be happier with your networking and achievements, I guarantee that you’ll make more money.
