Training Others — Circumstance vs. Commitment

We’re always training people in something. Whether it’s the way we shake hands, or our email signature, or whether or not we back up our words with actions. As leaders and business owners, eyes are always on us.

I suppose that it’s theoretically possible you have not been watching the news, and you are unaware that there is a war in the Ukraine.

I suppose it’s theoretically possible that you neither watched the Academy Awards, nor heard of the events that took place Sunday night, and you are unaware that Will Smith physically assaulted Chris Rock.

I’m not here to take sides or comment on the details. But unless you’ve been living under a rock, you have to know that the world has been going through some stuff. And that stuff is showing up in some atypical and challenging forms. Destructive forms.

These occurrences can conjure up a lot of thoughts and feelings. For me, I think of what needs are being satisfied in these moments, where the responsibility lies, how it’s navigated, and ultimately how the action impacts others, and how it, “trains” others to think and respond.

Take a look around the screen. Especially for members, if I asked you what kind of person any of the faces you see was, you’d likely have an answer that described them. And that opinion would be based on what they’ve trained you to learn about them — regardless of whether or not it was on purpose. And in this group it’s likely to be positive.

We form our assessments on our experiences of people. And of course, the reverse is also true… they form their opinions based on their experiences of us. And while we *do* based on who we *are*, the reverse is also true. We are what we repeatedly do.

Have you ever found yourself thinking, “That’s just how I am?” I’d like to be a certain way or accomplish a certain thing, but it can’t happen because I’m just not like that. I’m too much of this or not enough of that.

Who we are is simply the conglomeration of what we’ve done. And though what we’ve done may be shaped by multiple factors, it is far from unchangeable. And that “story” about who we are isn’t the truth — it’s simply how we were originally trained by others, then continued to train ourselves, and now train the world around us.

“If you do what you did, you’re gonna get what you got.” So if you want a different result, you’re going to have to take different action.

One place for us to look is where we choose that action from.

Often times, we choose from feelings. “I feel good today so I’ll take action,” or “I don’t feel inspired so I won’t.” Or maybe, “I feel bad enough so I will.” Sometimes our actions are chosen from a relationship to our circumstances… like scarcity — not enough time, not enough money, not enough energy, not enough patience.

Life is filled with circumstances. Life *is* circumstances. It’s essentially one big evolving list of circumstances. The question is, how do we want to be — how will we CHOOSE to be — in the face of those circumstances?

Listen, everybody wants something. If you’re in this meeting, on your list is likely a bunch of closed business, but also probably to be a kind and giving human being. Sometimes those things are going to seem somewhat easy. Other times they won’t.

But the question is *how* committed are you to making it happen? What matters so much that you will actually take the action in order to achieve it? Even when feelings and circumstances show up.

That’s the thing to leverage — the thing to get crystal clear about and to then take action from. The commitment. The goal or value that matters more than anything.

As a coach, I’ve witnessed people change their lives in ways that would blow your mind. And in the simplest of terms, all they did was get clear about their commitments, take consistent action in service of them, and show willingness and courage in the face of their circumstances.

I know this community — this group is capable of anything.

So what are you committed to? And what action will you take today with the intention of creating it? You’re about to have everyone’s attention for 30 seconds. Maybe it’s as simple as sharing who you are for the people you work with. Maybe that’s the lightning rod — what you bring to the table for their lives or businesses.

Here’s to showing up in alignment with our commitments. To clarity around who we are and what we want. And to what becomes possible when we train others around us and rally their support.

Have a great meeting, and as always, a powerful day!

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