Relationship Building with the Best Referrers You Have Not Met (Yet)

Developing a new relationship takes time and requires building commonality first.

  • Make a list of all the people you want to meet who you believe can help you grow your business. For example, I like Matrimonial attorneys and I found a list of about 50 of the most prominent matrimonial attorneys on the internet in a google search.
  • Second look for ways to connect with these folks in any way possible. I started with sending them my snail mail newsletter, after a couple of months of getting my name on their desk- even if it was to be recycled, I then connected with them on linkedin, (some of them had actually started connecting with me first). Now when I post on Linkedin, they are more likely to see my feed.
  • Post every week if possible!
  • Also check to see if you can find them on instagram and twitter. The idea is to find as many ways as possible to connect and interact with them virtually, so that your name starts to be familiar to them. If they have a blog comment on it- basically stalk them.
  • Now we are ready to meet them in person, we want to know if they’re members of a charity, a networking group, an association of some kind.
  • We will want to go to those places and meet them personally. NYC  is actually pretty good for this, in my case about a third of the attorneys I have identified are NYC members.. Meeting people in the places where they are most on mission and sharing in their passion makes for more powerful connections.
  • So let’s say you know one of your potential referrers is in NYC 54. Find out as much as you can about them on the internet, their hobbies and interests, what school they went too, look for some common interest you can talk with them about. When you go to the group- NYC or it might be an industry education event or a fundraiser, you now have something to talk to them about in which they are authentically interested and shows you care about what’s important to them.
  • BTW most people are honored to be stalked on this level.
  • If you feel like you’ve made enough of a connection, ask for their phone number or email so that you can reach out to them again in the future  about your shared interests
  • When you meet them do not give them your business card (unless they ask)!
  • Do this and you are actually getting to know these people and will be more personally invested in them with the end result being that they are also invested in you.
  • You will go from wishing you knew these people to developing a light friendship with them where you understand their personal interests, their goals in life, what their personal mission is, and what they stand for. They will have  the same awareness about you, and want to refer to you as you enrich each other in your relationship.

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