Think about what happens when you touch a hot stove. The speed of the nerve impulse through your neural network can be as fast as one hundred meters per second. It’s almost instantaneous — and there’s a reflexive action even before your brain gets the time it needs to process the threat. There’s no thinking involved. The process is hard wired, and essential for our survival.
This kind of programming is not unique to the physical. We develop mental and emotional mechanisms as well. For the most part their intention is similar — our protection. And just like with the hot stove, the reaction happens automatically. Because our natural default is to stay safe and comfortable, right in the center of our comfort zones.
With everything that’s happened — and is still happening — in the world, for most people this has become more challenging. We’re all encountering new circumstances which are having an impact on how we are thinking, feeling, and living.
At the same time, the possibility of growth and new results still exists, as always. But it’s outside our comfort zones. We need to get uncomfortable in order to achieve the grander goals we have.
Remember, it’s fear’s job to stop you. To physically and mentally and emotionally stop you. It’s what it does best. And we all experience it. Unless you’re a sociopath, fear is always on the menu. The question is whether there’s a real threat or not. Often we stop because of a perceived threat that’s not actually real.
But right now, there are some actual threats out there.
So the first thing to do is to assess the threat.
So whether it’s asking out an attractive potential mate, adding input into a creative meeting with a big client or senior executive, or standing up in front of a room of your peers (even if it’s virtual), the feelings and the circumstances are often mismatched.
Secondly, it often just takes some practice to prove to yourself that it’s not actually as scary as you thought it’d be.
So that brings me to my challenge for you. Look, whether or not you want to stand up here and do an Education Moment one of these days… totally up to you and cool either way. In case you couldn’t tell, I have a ball up here. But you could.
Look around. This is one of the safest, least judgmental environments you’re going to find. Everybody loves you here.
Everything we want is on the other side of conversations we hesitate to have or actions we’re scared to take.
So think of the opportunity to get up and stretch yourself. To get out of your comfort zone. To take a risk in your ask during your commercial. Or to ask someone significant to attend as your guest.
Just like polished comedians take their material out to small clubs to do test runs, see how it goes here. And have the courage to ask for feedback. If it works here, it can work out there.
When I’ve trained new coaches, they’re often quite nervous in their first sessions. It’s confronting to get hired by your first clients. To handle their objections (which are totally normal by the way). Anyone up against real change — even if they say they want something — has some resistance.
And we say to those newbies, go out and get your nose bloody. It’s the way you develop yourself, to get better and more comfortable with the pursuit of your bigger stuff.
You think the greatest guitarists in the world have soft delicate fingertips? Or did they face discomfort in order to develop callouses that allow them to strum their instrument with grace and power.
I’m standing here surrounded by musicians. And I say strum away my friends.
Get your nose bloody, have a blast, make some music. The more evidence we gather that we won’t actually die from taking chances and learning from mistakes, the easier it is to muster our courage and leap again. Covering more and more ground.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
