You may recall, last education piece I did was on how to find, meet, and begin to get acquainted with your best referrers through using social media and eventually meeting them in person. If you missed it, it’s up on the elevate web site.
Today We are going to review what to do once you have their attention.
The key to building relationships of any kind is always to NOT make it about you but be all about the other person. Iwe are not going to spend a lot of time talking about how great we are, instead we want to know about their favorite subject, them. We want to speak with them about what fires them up, gets their juices going and find commonality with them in these areas.
So lets say I just met Conrad, I know he loves tennis and used to play hockey because I found it in his facebook feed, or maybe I just met him for the first time and I asked him “What are your favorite things to do?” I want to understand what it is that gets him jacked about Tennis because that’s where his heart is. In order to do that I am going to ask a whole lot of open ended questions- this is also coaching 101 by the way.
What is it that you love about tennis?
Tell me more?
How much is it about competition with the other person and how much about with yourself?
How do you make the time?
And so on. I will want to show him that I am actually listening, so I won’t be looking all over the room which actually is a challenge for me because frankly I feel a little unsafe in crowds.
I will want to reflect back his answers so he knows I am actually listening:
“That’s so cool how the energy you bring to tennis transfers right to your business and the people you work with! Please tell me more.”
Mostly, I want to get it that people are fricking awesome! Conrad and my other referral sources are NOT just referrals sources, they are unique, magnificently fashioned creatures who are often gems hiding under every day life and when I am willing to give them my full attention, really listen and really care I will be amazed at how they shine.
This is the heart of real networking, we are not collecting cards like robots but meeting amazing people, each with their own individual dreams, passions, and talents. This is NOT just a numbers game, its a heart game and the more we connect heart to heart, the more we will authentically give to one another not just with referrals but in so many other ways
IN FACT, that is part of what makes this group so amazing is we go way beyond referrals here. Even though we are the biggest group in North America, I have made some really good friends here and when I go on a one to one and get to know members of this group I am totally blown away by their stories and who they are, and looking to refer to these amazing people as they are to me.