We’ve talked a lot about networking and relationships. The basics of introductions. The efficiency of impact when you only have thirty seconds — in an elevator or in a brief commercial. And the importance of not only initiating them but how to sustain them in such a way that they grow and yield benefits over time.
Today, I have an angle that I think you’ll enjoy.
In a word… CHARISMA.
It’s first known use was back in 1930. And it originates from a Greek word meaning favor or gift, and in another form it’s linked to grace.
Even young people ages eight to sixteen or so, have recently been talking about what they call, “Rizz.” And why not? Because young or old, that special quality of magnetic charm, leadership, and an almost personal magic, is valued, admired, and even coveted.
So this morning let’s take a look at the following… what makes someone charismatic?
Is it confidence? Is it being funny? Or attractive? Is it being a great speaker?
Charlie Houpert, founder of Charisma on Command, has spent years studying this question.
And what’s so interesting is that his definition of charisma has very little to do with being the loudest or largest person in the room.
It does have to do with influence. Because of course…
As an entrepreneur or business owner, our success depends on our ability to influence people.
You need people to believe in your vision. You need employees to follow you, clients to trust you. And nvestors, partners, prospects — and sometimes even your own friends and family — to believe in what you’re doing.
So here are Houpert’s SIX LAWS OF CHARISMA.
Number one: No matter what happens, you will be okay.
This is huge. When you don’t need a particular outcome, you become more powerful. You can ask the uncomfortable question. You can say what you really think. You can hear “no” without collapsing.
The moment you let go of attachment and stop needing someone to say yes, you’re able to show up much more authentically.
Number two: Care more about character than reputation.
Your reputation is what people think *about* you. Your character is who you are when nobody is watching. And though they may be related, consider the following: charisma without character is just manipulation.
The strongest leaders aren’t obsessed with looking impressive. They’re obsessed with being trustworthy.
Number three: Maintain impeccable honesty and integrity.
This may sound obvious — that is, until you realize how often we compromise it — even in tiny ways. We exaggerate. We avoid difficult conversations. We tell people what they want to hear.
But every time you violate your own integrity, you weaken your ability to speak with conviction. And conviction is magnetic.
Number four: You don’t need to convince anyone of anything.
This may be one of the most important principles for business. Your job isn’t to convince everyone to buy from you. Your job is to clearly communicate who you are, what you believe, and what you offer. And then discover who is a match.
When you’re desperate to convince someone, they can feel it. When you’re willing to let someone walk away, you become way more compelling.
Number five: Proactively share your purpose.
Tell people what you’re about. Don’t make them guess.
Why does your company exist? Why do you do what you do? What do you believe that other people don’t? People don’t just want to know what you sell.
As Lin Manuel Miranda asked as Alexander Hamilton, in the acclaimed Broadway show, “What do you stand for?”
And finally, Number six: Go first in humanizing the interaction.
This might be the most practical one.
Be the first to smile.
Be the first to show genuine interest.
Be the first to compliment someone.
Be the first to admit something vulnerable.
Don’t wait for the other person to make the interaction safe.
You go first. It not only illustrates your leadership, it can change the whole dynamic for everyone else and that feeling won’t soon be forgotten.
And here’s the bigger lesson:
Charisma isn’t about becoming somebody you’re not.
It’s about removing the things that prevent the real you from showing up.
Because the most charismatic entrepreneur in the room isn’t necessarily the person with the biggest personality.
It’s the person who is most comfortable being fully themselves.
And when you’re comfortable being yourself, you give everyone else permission to do the same.
That’s when people don’t just hear you.
They feel you.
And that’s when leadership becomes influence.
And oh yeah, business follows.